UnlockingADHD

Empowering ADHDers and their Families to Live Life to the Fullest

UnlockingADHD

Empowering ADHDers and their Families to Live Life to the Fullest

  • English

  • About Us
    • About Us
    • Our Mission/Logo
    • Our Board of Directors
    • Our Team
    • Media coverage
    • Publications
  • Understanding ADHD
    • What is ADHD?
    • Who should I see?
    • Should I get assessed?
    • Diagnosis / Assessments
    • Medication
    • Natural ADHD Remedies
    • Other Treatment Options
    • ADHD Comorbidities
    • Health & Nutrition
    • Personal stories
  • Living with ADHD
    • Youth
      • ADHD in Teens
      • Careers
      • Executive Function
      • Personal Stories
      • School
    • Families
      • ADHD in Children
      • School
      • Parenting Approaches
      • Personal Stories
      • Self care
    • Adults
      • ADHD in Adults
      • ADHD in women
      • Executive Function
      • Personal Stories
      • Workplace Issues
  • ADHD Resources
    • Healthcare and Community Services
    • Seminar/Conference
    • Book Reviews
    • Other Resources
  • Get Involved
    • Volunteering
    • Events
    • Donations
    • Contact Us
  • Log In
ADHD in Adults, ADHD in women, Adults, Diagnosis / Assessments, Personal Stories

My Convoluted Road from an ADHD Diagnosis to Self-Acceptance

ADHD in Adults, ADHD in women, Adults, Diagnosis / Assessments, Personal Stories
November 26, 2021

Unlocking ADHD writer Chng Li Ming spoke with Cheyenne Seah on her ADHD from diagnosis to where she is today – helping businesses and ADHDers strategise and build on their strengths.

In this engaging interview, Cheyenne takes us through her diagnosis and treatment journey, while offering insights into ADHD and workplace discrimination, as well as strategies she has used to embrace her ADHD, find self-acceptance and live a more fulfilling life on her own terms.

What prompted you to get diagnosed for ADHD?

I was 30 years old, doing my PhD in Biology, and just looking for ways to not flunk out of my programme. I had developed coping mechanisms since a young age — while studying, I would often drink eight cups of coffee during the day and a bottle of wine at night. I would wake up feeling groggy and not well rested.

There was the constant battle between the inability to sleep and the inability to wake up, ever since primary school. I sought help, but even medical professionals were looking in the wrong places, attributing the issues to depression or anxiety.

It was only after a while that the ADHD conclusion was reached.

I found out it was genetic from my mother’s side, while my father’s side had high functioning autism. I come from a family which had high-flying careers in the corporate world, in law, and as business owners — which also brings me to the point that ADHDers often go under the radar when they are seen to be successful and accomplished in life.

What were your initial emotions and reactions to your ADHD diagnosis?

Initially after the diagnosis, I realised that I could not just ignore, suppress, and compartmentalise my emotions. I had always been disconnected mentally and emotionally; my head and heart did not feel connected 95% of the time.

I realised I could not be a workaholic to drown my emotions, and that the desire to get acknowledgement from work made me take a ‘full logic and no emotions’ route to try and over-perform. This became crippling in its own way as it is very tiring to keep up.

The diagnosis also made me realise that I had been suppressing many of my emotions. Many ADHDers have Rejection Sensitive Dysphoria, which makes the things that other people say or do, almost physically painful to us. Sometimes others may not mean harm, while some may mean it as a callous comment, but when we hear these things, we often feel as though the world has almost fallen through and our emotions are in the gutter for the day.

Once all these came to light after my diagnosis; it made me more aware of what was happening in my brain and with my emotions.

What did you do after you came to terms with your ADHD diagnosis?

I knew I needed to face up to my emotions. ADHDers can be quite emotionally charged and if tasks are not motivating, we avoid them like plague. The more we avoid these tasks, the more we develop a lot of negative coping mechanisms; whenever we see these tasks, we end up avoiding them in a vicious cycle.

As someone in a STEM field, I prided myself on my sense of logic. But I realised that sometimes my ADHD brain is not logical; it refuses to accept all my logical explanations about how I need to do something like paperwork, and just the sight of paperwork sends my emotions plunging and spiralling downwards.

After reading more about ADHD and understanding the function of the neurotransmitter dopamine in this emotional regulation process, I have since learnt how to better manage my emotions as this is an important part of functioning effectively.

What has your journey with ADHD been like after your diagnosis?

I am now medicated with Ritalin for ADHD and Amitriptyline for sleep. Medication helps, but sleep hygiene is also very important for mental clarity. Previously, I was on Selective Serotonin Reuptake Inhibitors (SSRIs) which is commonly prescribed for psychological conditions, but each medication works differently for each individual, so I found my mood being affected negatively as I was easily triggered.

That said, female ADHDers who experience monthly hormonal cycles are also affected by hormonal changes and levels, so it is important to be mindful of how hormones interact with our medication. I am aware that some people think stimulant medication such as Ritalin has the potential to become addictive, but many ADHDers will say, “What addictive behaviour? I forgot to take my medication again.”

In addition to medication, I found out that nutrition and vitamins are very important. Right now, I am temporarily on a vegetarian diet, but the shortage of Vitamin B caused my brain fog to come back with a vengeance, so I am now on supplements for that. ADHDers can be sensitive to nutritional input, so it is important to find out what works for you. Cutting out white sugar and white bread helps for me because I find that I experience the sugar crash more than the average person.

Armed with medication, good nutrition, and knowledge about myself and my condition, I have been able to cope better since my diagnosis and find self-acceptance of who I am.

How do you think being diagnosed with ADHD did or did not help?

The diagnosis helped because I felt a lot of relief that I am not broken, and not being deliberately lazy. Now I know there are effective strategies that I can use to get ahead in life. It has made it much less painful to make things work and do paperwork, especially compared to doing paperwork unmedicated when I was serving my bond in public service.

People with ADHD often experience negative criticism in their lives, and I base quite a bit of my self-esteem on my performance at work. I wanted to do well and do something useful, which drove me to get my diagnosis.

Being diagnosed with ADHD also gave me shortcuts to hack my behaviour. I always wanted to do more in life but I felt myself impeded by brain fog and inability to rise up to the occasion to finish my work and meet deadlines (also, the older you get, the tougher it gets). I can now take better control of my behaviour, nutrition, and sleep, which contributes to my ability to perform. 

That said, finding the right support is important. I had a negative experience where the psychologist I was seeing said that I was using ADHD as an excuse to get out of doing the difficult things in life  — that I was imagining stuff and I should just pull up my socks and get on in life and stop being lazy. I have had to address these negative perceptions as well.

Most importantly, the ADHD diagnosis gave me a sense of peace and self-acceptance about myself. I know I will never be satisfied with only one career for the next 50 years. That’s okay with me because, due to my ADHD, I can pick up a lot of new interests and activities and can feel more comfortable letting go of activities that do not interest me.

What advice would you give your younger self?

I would advise my younger self to not beat myself up mentally so much. I would remind myself that I do have strengths and am not broken or worthless. I wish I had sought my path towards self-employment earlier. As someone who is a bit impulsive and who wants to see a positive impact on people, I cannot follow rules just because I am told to.

I would have told my younger self to embrace this trait and start the journey towards building myself and my financial independence. In doing this, I would also urge my younger self to pick up more skills along the way just so that I would not have to bend over backwards and hate everything that is ADHD within me, just to earn a salary and work 80 hours a week.

In the end, ADHD does not disappear miraculously at the age of 18; many adults with ADHD learn to cope, and some end up dealing with it negatively, such as I did with excess caffeine and alcohol. This is also why our prescribed medication can help us.

Ultimately, I have learnt to embrace my ADHD and have self-acceptance. I cannot change all things, but I have learnt to make it less painful. The ADHD treatment and medication journey is unique to each person, so while it may be a lifelong journey, it can and WILL get better as long as you work on it.

[If you liked this story and found it helpful, please SHARE it. For more personal stories about ADHDers, please click here. Unlocking ADHD has also organized a series of events this ADHD Awareness Month, and you can view our past webinars on YouTube.]

If you liked this article and found it helpful, please share it with others.

If you are looking for community support, join our ADHD support group or Discord chat!

If you like this article and find it helpful, do consider donating to support us in our mission to empower ADHDers and their families to live life to the fullest.

*DISCLAIMER: This information is provided for educational purposes only and does not constitute medical advice. Should you suspect that you have ADHD, consider seeking the advice of a trained healthcare professional with any questions you may have about your condition.

Subscribe to our newsletter

Leave a Reply Cancel reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.

  1. Acceptance, understanding, and discovering my ADHD superpower
  2. Unlocking ADHD’s Webinar Panel: Adulting & Careers
  3. Making Peace with ADHD: Self-Compassion and Second Chances

Resources on ADHD

  • Understanding ADHD
  • Healthcare and Community Services
  • Support Groups
  • Online Resources
  • Contact Us

Follow us

Copyright © 2023 · Unlocking ADHD Ltd. All rights reserved. Terms | Privacy policy
Unlocking ADHD Ltd does not provide medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment. The material on this web site is provided for educational purposes only.

We use cookies on our website to give you the most relevant experience by remembering your preferences and repeat visits. By clicking “Accept All”, you consent to the use of ALL the cookies. However, you may visit "Cookie Settings" to provide a controlled consent.
Cookie SettingsAccept All
Manage consent

Privacy Overview

This website uses cookies to improve your experience while you navigate through the website. Out of these, the cookies that are categorized as necessary are stored on your browser as they are essential for the working of basic functionalities of the website. We also use third-party cookies that help us analyze and understand how you use this website. These cookies will be stored in your browser only with your consent. You also have the option to opt-out of these cookies. But opting out of some of these cookies may affect your browsing experience.
Necessary
Always Enabled
Necessary cookies are absolutely essential for the website to function properly. These cookies ensure basic functionalities and security features of the website, anonymously.
CookieDurationDescription
cookielawinfo-checkbox-analytics11 monthsThis cookie is set by GDPR Cookie Consent plugin. The cookie is used to store the user consent for the cookies in the category "Analytics".
cookielawinfo-checkbox-functional11 monthsThe cookie is set by GDPR cookie consent to record the user consent for the cookies in the category "Functional".
cookielawinfo-checkbox-necessary11 monthsThis cookie is set by GDPR Cookie Consent plugin. The cookies is used to store the user consent for the cookies in the category "Necessary".
cookielawinfo-checkbox-others11 monthsThis cookie is set by GDPR Cookie Consent plugin. The cookie is used to store the user consent for the cookies in the category "Other.
cookielawinfo-checkbox-performance11 monthsThis cookie is set by GDPR Cookie Consent plugin. The cookie is used to store the user consent for the cookies in the category "Performance".
viewed_cookie_policy11 monthsThe cookie is set by the GDPR Cookie Consent plugin and is used to store whether or not user has consented to the use of cookies. It does not store any personal data.
Functional
Functional cookies help to perform certain functionalities like sharing the content of the website on social media platforms, collect feedbacks, and other third-party features.
Performance
Performance cookies are used to understand and analyze the key performance indexes of the website which helps in delivering a better user experience for the visitors.
Analytics
Analytical cookies are used to understand how visitors interact with the website. These cookies help provide information on metrics the number of visitors, bounce rate, traffic source, etc.
Advertisement
Advertisement cookies are used to provide visitors with relevant ads and marketing campaigns. These cookies track visitors across websites and collect information to provide customized ads.
Others
Other uncategorized cookies are those that are being analyzed and have not been classified into a category as yet.
SAVE & ACCEPT
Patrick
Sam
Trinity
Esther
Jesse
Unlocking ADHD Volunteer - Laura
Laura

Andrea is a constantly curious person attracted to all things colourful. On weekends, you will probably find her churning out fun activities to keep her son occupied or engrossed in a new game/book/drama series. She enjoys every moment of volunteering with Unlocking ADHD and hopes to build a more inclusive and empathetic society that embraces neurodiversity.

Li Ming’s educational background is in Business Management and Mass Communications. She have worked in the areas of marketing communications, philanthropy and medical fundraising.

Deborah was diagnosed with ADHD at 18. She is now pursuing a masters degree in psychology with a concentration in biopsychology. In her leisure time, Deborah expends her excess energy through video games and outdoor sports.
Vivien is an O Levels student who likes art. In her free time, she enjoys dancing and watching all kinds of movies. 

This image has an empty alt attribute; its file name is logo-2-1.png
AMKFSC Community Services has a Psychological Services Unit (PSU) which has a team of clinical and counselling psychologists for children/youth and their parents. Core services include psychoeducational assessments (5 to 16 years old) for ADHD and other learning disabilities. They also offer group and individual psychotherapy. They only provide services to residents in their constituency.

Fees are $70 per one hour session. Psychoeducational testing ranges between $750 to $1,120 depending on the tests required.

Email: [email protected].

Rachelle parents three brilliant ADHD kids and is an experienced magazine editor, a co-director in the family healthcare business and would kill to be a student again

Indhu is a university student majoring in Chemical & Biomolecular Engineering. During her free time, she enjoys hanging out with friends and watching TV shows.

Yiannis works in the technology industry and is passionate about helping others maximize their potential. In his free time, he enjoys cycling, yoga, and weightlifting
Chia Ming is a Regular Joe Dad trying to navigate the VAST world of a teenager in the US. 
Emilie is a dog person, but would much rather adopt/own cats of her own one day. During her free time, she enjoys gaming, reading webtoons and showing love to the local stray cats in her neighborhood.
Vanessa is an international relations student, mental health advocate and aspiring change maker.  On top of this, she is also a professional chef and a musician in a rock band.
Charlene is mum to a ADHDer and another with Executive Dysfunction.  She is passionate about supporting youths and parents as a certified Transformative Coach and SPARK Resilience Trainer.

Cheyenne provides HR/people strategy consulting and career coaching. She also volunteers with SPARK to increase the awareness of and reduce the stigma of ADHD.

Tahirah is a mom whose seven out of nine children have special needs with two having ADHD. An advocate for special needs and mental health, she is an avid reader with a love for photography, music and tv

Valerie is a secondary 2 student who loves sports and creative activities like writing, drawing, music. She hopes to contribute to teen awareness through Unlocking ADHD!

Sabrina is a volunteer who enjoys painting, miniature craft and raising pet chickens.
Choon Boon is studying Biological Sciences and is an absolute foodie that will never shy away from trying all types of food
Natalie is a university student majoring in Psychology. While she usually stays home watching Disney shows from the 2010s, she occasionally decides to voyage outdoors in search for good food.
Ishani is an IB student and avid reader. In her free time she enjoys public speaking, coding, and playing the piano
Nidhi is a SPED Apprentice teacher & mother of a pre-schooler. She is interested in the areas of ADHD & Autism. Nidhi loves reading about self empowerment, & mindfulness.
Terrie is a retiree & grandma of 4 grandchildren. She enjoys meditation, gnostic studies, attending Zoom lectures from politics to mushrooms, writing, keeping a mini garden – until the next new passion!
Alisa has just finished her A levels and currently enjoys spending time with her cats
Sanju is a clinical psychology student in the UK and an educator for students with special needs. In their free time they like practicing yoga, singing, and playing the ukulele.
Shu Min  is a university student majoring in Psychology and OBHR. She enjoys baking, gardening and taking care of her senior dog and hamster.
Lukas is a university student majoring in Information Systems. He enjoys watching sports and looking forward to help people with ADHD
Li Yan is an A level student who takes art. She like to listen to music during her free time
Yuan Wu is a career warrior leveraging his strength in crisis management in a global MNC. Friends call him ‘laser’ for his piercing insight about human behaviour
Lilian’s full-time day job involves customer experience service audits. Leisure time is mostly dedicated long walks, and making crochet creations
Jean is a TCM Physician, and a full-time working mother of a pre-schooler. She is an optimist whose goal is to change the perception of Chinese Medicine in Singapore.
Angela is a university undergraduate majoring in Accounting and Accounting Data & Analytics. During her free time, she enjoys watching vlogs, listening to music and is currently learning French as well
Jnanee is a veterinarian. In her free time, she likes to write, dance, pat community cats and explore cafes with her friends. She also tries to convince herself that she keeps fit with occasional runs and yoga workouts
Candice is a freelance Strategy Consultant who works with change makers to positively impact life and society. She enjoys building valuable and genuine relationships, turning ideas into lifelong achievement for people she works with
Shreyashree is a screen media student who loves to volunteer in her free time. She specialises in design and media works and would really like to use her skills to raise awareness about ADHD
Shreya is a university student majoring in biological sciences with a minor in business. She loves to draw, paint, read and watch films.
Shreshtha is a university student majoring in biological sciences and psychology. In her free time, she loves to sketch, play with her dogs, and bake desserts.
Hana is currently studying for her A-Levels. She has an interest in mental health awareness. She takes long naps and bothers her cats in her free time.
Constance is a university student majoring in Sociology and minoring in Global Studies. She spends her free time watching movies and reading.

Mrunmayee (Mayee) is a Counseling Psychologist who previously worked as a school counselor. She is interested in hiking and reading.

Megan is a university student majoring in Creative Writing and Psychology. In her free time, she enjoys writing poetry, making friends with stray cats and taking photos of plants.

Tricia is a university student majoring in Life Sciences and Psychology. An avid fan of scaling rock walls and whatever else she can climb, some say she is more monkey than human!

 

Song Heng is a psychology major studying at an Australian University. He enjoys watching movies and listening to music in his free time
Si Jie is an undergraduate studying Psychology and Economics. She is passionate about all things related to mental health!

Moonlake is the Founder of Unlocking ADHD. A community builder and multi-hyphenate, she runs to fat burn so that she can enjoy food with family and friends. She is still working on strengthening the brakes for her ADHD wiring…

Stephanie is a university student majoring in Psychology and minoring in Japanese Language. She hopes to make the most of her leisure time through writing and reading.