Dr. Ong Mian Li is the founder and Clinical Psychologist at Lightfull Psychology, with a passion for mental health awareness. He takes a patient-centered approach, incorporating mindfulness and acceptance-based strategies in his therapy services.
When Did You Get Diagnosed?
I received my ADHD diagnosis as an adult — not exactly at the “optimal” age for diagnosis. ADHD is still often seen as something that affects only kids, so coming to terms with it as an adult was a journey on its own. But, better late than never, right?
What Was Life Like Before Diagnosis?
Before my diagnosis, it often felt like I was running a lonely marathon every day — but uphill, in the rain, and without an umbrella. I was always juggling tasks and responsibilities, whether it was at work or in life, and couldn’t quite figure out why things that seemed simple for others were so mentally exhausting for me.
Despite doing somewhat alright outwardly, I was always battling procrastination, disorganization, and a constant feeling of being one step behind – and relying (and burning through) the social capital that I had painstakingly worked to accrue. Pursuing a PhD in clinical psychology in the US alone, away from family and friends, did not help…
What Was Life Like Post Diagnosis?
Post diagnosis life was like realizing that ERP existed in Singapore – now that I know those toll roads exist, now I can start planning ahead, and maybe (sometimes) avoid paying the fees! I finally understood why certain things were so difficult and could focus on finding strategies to manage them.
Post-diagnosis, I shifted from constantly blaming myself and working in bursts (only to crash and burn) — to finding practical ways to work with my ADHD. I’ve embraced things like chunking tasks, using reminders on my phone, and finding ways to add novelty to routines (like changing up my meals – there’s always a dish you haven’t tried!). It’s about learning what works for me, even when it means occasionally embracing some of the chaos. Ohh… so much chaos.
Beyond me, this experience has further tightened my bond with my partner. Since being diagnosed, she has thoughtfully adjusted her behavior to maximize my latent strengths, while somehow still supporting me through the intense emotions that are so emblematic of ADHD. This in turn has made me even more committed to doing the same for her – which has supercharged our communication. Yay to mutual vulnerability!
What Do You Think Are Your Greatest ADHD Strengths?
My ADHD strengths are definitely creativity and hyperfocus – (assuming I made a plan to decompress after). When something catches my attention, like designing a therapy intervention, developing a talk, or coming up with quirky acronyms, I can zoom in and produce my best work, often losing track of time (which is both a strength and a challenge in Singapore’s punctuality-focused culture). These abilities also allow me to connect with my therapy clients – and particularly neurodivergent individuals on a deeper level — they feel seen and understood, knowing that I get where they’re coming from. I see you, my ADHD fam!
How Do You Manage ADHD in Daily Life?
Managing ADHD in Singapore, where everything moves at 5G speed, requires intentional structure.
✅ Daily routines, always leave room (add 15mins!) for flexibility because too much rigidity bores my novelty-driven brain.
✅ Spreadsheets and trackers to track tasks and break projects into small, Chicken NcNuggets-sized bites – with rewards included for doing the small things.
✅ Physical activity is also key — even if I am really, really busy, you will find me at the PCN (walking) every day (seriously, thank you, NParks. You have saved us all.)
How Would You Advise Your Younger Self?
I’d tell my younger self (actually even now) to take a chill pill (and maybe to stop berating myself for my severely subpar PSLE score, O levels, A levels, and PhD achievements). Life isn’t always about following the pre-determined “Singaporean dream” of straight As and a perfect career. It’s about understanding yourself and finding ways to thrive, even if you’re wired differently. I’d remind myself that it’s okay not to fit into every mold, and to enjoy the process (not the outcome). Why wait till the end to reward ourselves? We should do it all the time!
Complete This Sentence: ADHD Is…
ADHD is like the MRT — it may break down, speed up, slow down, or even miss a station, but if you understand the system, you WILL still get to where you need to be. Enjoy the plot twists in your story!
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