Embracing Difference with Empathy
Nigel Teh has built a career across public service, venture building, and foodtech entrepreneurship, with a focus on innovation and sustainability. He now works in economic development and advises start-ups, while also starting his own venture. Diagnosed with ADHD during COVID-19, Nigel is married with two young children, and credits the journey with reshaping his outlook, deepening his empathy, and strengthening his belief in embracing difference.
Quotes
“I began shaping my environment and routines around my natural wiring instead of constantly fighting it. That mindset change has been powerful.”
“ADHD should not just be managed or tolerated; it should be understood, appreciated, and celebrated.”
Early Signs and Diagnosis
I didn’t realise I had ADHD for most of my life. It wasn’t until COVID-19 that things began to shift. My wife noticed recurring patterns in my mood and frustrations. At the same time, we were reading about neurodivergence to better support our son. As she dug deeper, she began pointing out, “This sounds exactly like you.”
At first, I was sceptical. I had done well in many aspects of life and didn’t match the stereotype of hyperactive behaviour. But the more we explored, the more it made sense. It explained why I experienced things so intensely, why I struggled with certain tasks despite effort, and why discipline alone wasn’t enough. Realising that my brain worked differently, and that this difference was real, was deeply validating.
Challenges and Turning Points
My journey unfolded in phases. The first was simply understanding ADHD not as a theory but as a lived reality. No two experiences are the same, and that perspective was important.
Once I understood the basics, my next question was, “So what now?” I started to focus on management: exploring what ‘normal’ meant for me, what practical steps could help me function more effectively, and how to adapt.
Over time, that shifted again, from managing ADHD to learning how to work with it. I began shaping my environment and routines around my natural wiring instead of constantly fighting it. That mindset change has been powerful.
One of my biggest insights is that it’s not a personal failure to struggle with something I am simply not wired for. That realisation has been freeing. Today, I recognise those moments with less judgment, adapt more quickly, and sometimes even turn what once felt like a challenge into a strength.
Finding Strength in Empathy
If I had to identify what I’m most thankful for, it isn’t a single external achievement but an inner transformation: empathy. Before ADHD entered my awareness, I often expected others to operate the way I did, or the way I thought people were “supposed to.” Looking back, I see how unkind that was, to others and to myself.
Understanding my own wiring has helped me unlearn those assumptions. It’s taught me that everyone is carrying invisible struggles, and that people are wired differently. This journey has made me far more patient and compassionate, both with myself and others.
That shift has softened how I show up as a parent, a colleague, and a friend. I’m more willing to give people the benefit of the doubt, just as I’ve had to learn to give it to myself. And I don’t think I would have learned that without going through this experience.
Advice to My Younger Self
Do not be afraid to be different. It is okay to think differently, feel differently, and move at your own pace.
You don’t need to fit into every mold that others are comfortable in. People are wired differently, and that isn’t something to fix. It’s something to understand and embrace.
So hold on to what makes you you. Nurture it. Trust that it has value, even if others don’t see it right away. And above all, keep believing in yourself.
Changing How the World Sees ADHD
I hope the world learns to see people with ADHD beyond their struggles. Yes, challenges exist, but there is also something deeply valuable in the way we are wired. There is creativity, energy, and depth that come from this difference. ADHD should not just be managed or tolerated; it should be understood, appreciated, and celebrated.
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