Himanshu Chaudhari leads change & transformation initiatives to level-up the employee experience at one of the largest banking groups in Asia. He is also an Investor in the EdTech sector and sits on the Board of Directors of Unlocking ADHD, a charity and social service agency that empowers ADHDers and their families to live life to the fullest.
When did you get diagnosed?
My journey to discovering my ADHD diagnosis started at work. I was struggling to complete certain work tasks, taking as long as three days to complete when they required only one to two hours’ work. I was frustrated and questioned why I was not able to complete the tasks though I knew exactly what I had to do. My firm at the time, had an Employee Assistance Program (EAP) which offers support through mental health professional. With a mix of anticipation and anxiety, I mustered the courage to schedule an appointment.
I was a bit anxious as I have all these ideas from popular culture, about what is it like to sit on a shrink’s couch and talk about your life. The vulnerability of opening up about deeply personal matters added an extra layer of inhibition. To my surprise, I found myself to be quite comfortable talking about my issues at that first session. From the conversation, there was a suggestion of ADHD. After a few more sessions, I went for a formal diagnosis with a psychiatrist who spoke to me and my spouse. This whole experience took a couple of months.
What was life like before diagnosis?
I’ll preface this question by saying that my life was not dramatically altered by the diagnosis per se. I had my struggles before and truth be told, I have most of those struggles now too. Perhaps a ‘meta struggle’ before was my mindset about dealing with these challenges almost daily as I ended up feeling frustrated and would beat myself up a lot through my self-talk.
What was life like post diagnosis?
Knowing that I have ADHD was an ‘Aha!’ moment for me. It generated more self-curiosity because if I did not know this about myself, what else did I not know/understand? Over the following year, I was able to reflect on this and understand myself a lot better. My family was supportive when they learnt of my ADHD diagnosis. My spouse thought it was interesting, as the diagnosis explained certain things. What she really appreciated was that I sought help. My supportive family environment helped me adapt and accept my ADHD diagnosis.
Over time, I got to know so many more ADHDers and created a sense of belonging to this neurodivergent tribe. This has been a big plus for me as the mutual sharing about our struggles has been very reaffirming. Sharing my story at work was also a positive experience. And since then, I’ve come to realize that as a leader, it’s more important to embrace my differences and stand out than to hide them and ‘blend in’. I do feel very fortunate to work in an organization where I have psychological safety and I don’t want to take this for granted.
What do you think are your greatest ADHD strengths?
ADHD is just a piece of the puzzle that makes up who I am and has shaped me in nuanced ways. When faced with time-sensitive or high-pressure work situations, I have discovered an uncanny ability to become hyper-focused. It is as if my brain and gut instinctively respond to the urgency, producing a surge of dopamine that fuels my concentration and drive.
Furthermore, chaos and complexity do not rattle me as much. I suppose I embrace it as an extension of the beautiful messiness of my mind. It does not mean that I do not struggle with complexity, which I do – I just have a calmer disposition while navigating through it.
How do you manage ADHD in daily life?
There are 2 distinct parts to how I attempt to exercise some ‘agency’ over my ADHD.
❇️ A routine which includes many science-based practices in my daily morning and evening routine. My rational interest in science and its applicability to daily life has helped me. Since being diagnosed with ADHD, I have done a lot of self-experimentation and have now formed a very good idea of what works for me. There are tons of resources out there on what you can do for dopamine regulation.
With most of these intentional habits and routine, I’m essentially attempting to hack my own mental state and giving myself a higher chance to not fall into an unstimulated state. My routine includes certain vision-based focus exercises as I start my workday, using cold or ice-baths for improving baseline dopamine in mornings, breathing exercises to alter my state, etc. I encourage my fellow ADHDers to embark on their own experimentation journey, as what works for one may not work for another. Whether it’s medications, meditation, exercise or small habits, it’s crucial to explore different avenues and discover what works for your unique biochemistry and mental state.
❇️ I continue to struggle with my ability to focus and be present. I continue to face challenges, but I have learned to work on a mindset of acceptance and self-compassion. This is a work-in-progress and may remain so for the rest of my life as I manage the weekly ups-and-downs. Seeking regular guidance from an ADHD coach and psychologist has been instrumental in my progress, providing me with invaluable support and direction.
Physical health and mental health are two sides of the same coin. I focus on having an active lifestyle which boosts my overall health.
How would you advise your younger self?
There are two crucial messages I would impart: self-compassion and curiosity.
I had this tendency to be incredibly hard on myself whenever I struggled with something that seemed obvious to others. The internal dialogue I engaged in was unforgiving and harsh, and I could not help but compare myself to those around me, which only fueled my insecurities. I carried on silently and couldn’t even share this with my own mom, despite our close relationship. Today, I would like to tell my younger self that it is OKAY.
While speaking to my younger self is hypothetical or an internal dialogue, speaking to my own kids is not. As a parent myself, self-compassion has become my guiding principle. It’s the number one value I strive to instil in my children, and as hard as it is, we have to keep trying. I’ve noticed that when they stumble or fail at tasks, they too adopt the same language I once used: “How lame!”, “So dumb!” or worse. It breaks my heart. So, I gently encourage them to shift their perspective, to replace those self-deprecating phrases with something more understanding – “How human!”
Complete this sentence: ADHD is….
ADHD is neither a blessing, nor a curse. It is a manageable condition through exercising our sense of agency. But it must be diagnosed first.
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